We are all very familiar with doctor visits. I have been to more in the past 5 years than I have in the previous 47+ years since I was diagnosed with Autoimmune Encephalitis. Over the past 5 years, there have been a lot of small victories and some stumbles. However, when I step back and look at the victories, some start to reveal the whole truth of my situation which is the damage may be permanent. What does that mean?
In the beginning of my diagnosis, I had to relearn how to walk, talk, do simple chores, and think. Even though I am way better than I was, I still have issues. So, one begins to think that this is as close as I will get to where I used to be before the illness.
Just like when medications or treatments are stopped because of “progress”, but those same impairments are there. So, is it progress? Sure. I am not staring out the window or at people as much. I am not rambling about some topic no one actually mentioned. I am not talking to relatives that have passed many many years ago nor to friends that aren’t physically present during our great conversations. I am not scribbling or fumbling to hold a pencil. I can walk better. As well as so many other things I can do now that I couldn’t do at first diagnosis. But I can’t do them like I used to do so, is it really progress? But, am I getting better, or are we just revealing the real damage?
You have probably heard elsewhere and here about the “New Normal.” This is supposed to be relieving in some way. To make us feel like we did something. Like this new way is gonna be as great as before the illness. We are referred to as survivors or warriors. We are on another part of the journey of life. blah blah blah.
But are we really? Are we really making any progress ? Will this “New Normal” still be a viable and happy new path ?
YOU BET YOUR ASS WE ARE !!
Anyone that makes it through something that killed them and they came back or that could have killed them if they didn’t change is a survivor. And that New Normal that may not be exactly like we had before whatever knocked our asses into the dirt but it is going to be just as great. I don’t care what the age from less than a year old or 99+. Whatever hit us didn’t break us. Sure we may have stumbled. We may have had doubts. But we are here.
Ok so you can’t speak, write, think, walk, sing, talk, yada yada as well as before your ass was knocked down. Your treatments and meds are being removed to see how you do and reveal what this “New You” is. It doesn’t matter. Make the best of it. You are still here.
So, yea. We are making progress. Every minute of every day. With every treatment or med removed (hell or even added), we are making progress. We are back from whatever abyss we were in and now you are faced with a new life. Your New Normal. Your New You.
Remember….the first time you got back up from whatever life knocked your ass down with… no one can question your strength. ESPECIALLY YOU !
All the best to your friends, family, and especially you ! Make that progress !!! KEEP MOVING FORWARD !!!